Grab the tissues, Twilight fans! Kristen Stewart is still not over her emotional and very public split from Robert Pattinson. The actress opened up about their high-profile romance while promoting her new film, Equals, at the Toronto International Film Festival on Sunday, Sept. 13.
As revealed in exclusive Us Weekly photos back in July 2012, Stewart cheated on the British hunk, 29, with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. She and Pattinson gave their love another shot, but called it quits for good in 2013.
"It was incredibly painful," Stewart, 25, told The Daily Beast on Sunday. "Ugh, f—king kill me."
Luckily, Stewart's film career became a good distraction. She also could relate to her Equals costar Nicholas Hoult, who split from Jennifer Lawrence while filming the project in Japan in August 2014."It was a really good time for both of us to make this movie," Stewart explained. "Not all of my friends have been through what I’ve been through, or what some people have tasted at a relatively speaking young age, and we were not expected to do anything. Everything that we did was explorative, and a meditation on what we already knew."
Their emotional state also helped them get into character. "We all felt akin by how much we’ve been through, and to utilize that is so scary. And to acknowledge it, reassess, and jump back into it? Usually you want to move on. But at least we could use some of that for some good," she continued. "This movie was a meditation on firsts, and a meditation on maintaining, and a meditation on the ebbs and flows of what it’s like to love someone—your feelings versus your ideals, the bursting of bubbles, the shattering of dreams you thought were possible, and what you have to contend with as things get more realistic."
She added: “Relationships — you just never f—king know."
Stewart and Hoult, 25, play a couple in the Drake Doremus-directed movie. She hopes that it strikes a nerve with audiences, and gives them hope that love can happen again after heartbreak.
"If you've been hurt—you know when you've broken up with someone and you look at someone walking down the street holding hands and think, 'Ugh, give it a f—kin' year. Let me know how you feel in a year.' Ugh, I don't believe in that," she told The Daily Beast. "Well, if we did our jobs right, then it would be to remind you that you can definitely get back to that, and how hard, amazing, and life-fulfilling those feelings were in the very beginning."
Stewart appears to have taken her own advice. The actress is rumored to be dating visual effects producer Alicia Cargile. Pattinson, meanwhile, is engaged to singer FKA twigs.